Bye Bye Third Part of Year

It becomes unbelievable every year as one notices how faster time flies as you get older. I remember in high school how days felt like it was dragging by, being an adult seemed miles away and it seemed like the normal wish was to be all grown up. Fast track to adulthood and all we wish for now is those days of innocence and no responsibility. If only we knew to enjoy the fun and games back then.
Right now I'm trying to juggle everything (fitness, family, friends, fosters) and still be capable of getting up the next day. Getting the balance between everything is quite tough but so far so good.
The Half Ironman training has officially started. Whoop Whoop! I'm very excited. Even more so that I have a training partner who knows what she is doing and is willing to take me under her wing. Am very grateful as doing it alone is not something I see myself doing. I only managed a 15km cycle on my mountain bike, which is apparently tougher than on a ride bike. But a scary thought that eventually I'll have to manage 100km. Afterwards went straight to a second hand shop and bought cleats to use on hubby's road bike but then saw a really good deal on a bike perfect for my height, which hubby's bike isn't really. So a big spoil. It's so funny how much money we are willing to spend on sports equipment but I'll never go buy myself pretty clothes for that price.
At the moment I feel like I'm just putting my head down and going through the motions of the daily to-do's. Honestly, I do not know how I'm going to handle NOT having the foster babies. They have given me a reason to get up in the morning, EARLY! Little souls that need me for everything. They gave me purpose. So I am very afraid. I think this is why I am even more grateful for the training partner who I am accountable to.
Every day is a new day. A day full of unexpected happenings.
So every morning I just try get through that day in one piece.

Huge crashy crashy

So of course. Shortly after "no crashy crashy" I had/have/having a huge breakdown.
Wednesday was suppose to be a special day. Hubby and I got tattoos. But my foot one was extremely painful and I think I was starting to crash before even getting out of bed. No amount of sugary drinks helped get some pep. While hubby was getting his I really went downhill. Chest tightness, tummy ache, burning eyes, yawning constantly. ... all tell tale signs.
Then for the next 48hours it was hell on earth. Was naive to volunteer to take in a mommy dog with eight tiny pups. She was aggressive to other dogs and human needy and did not want to spend time with her brood.  I was so relieved when I could take them to their new foster home. But it was just another sign that I cannot handle much. As much as I wanted to enjoy the experience it was physically damaging and emotionally draining.
Then just when I think a twelve hour stint of bed rest would do the trick......noooooo I start catching up with neglected house chores become resentful and have a major meltdown fight with hubby. This emotional crying thing is still new to me. While being on meds I could have wobbly's but they went away quickly and without tears. I'm seriously considering going back on. This shit is shit!
Am so confused and frustrated.  It's a horrible space I find myself in. And when my mind is deliriously tired it refuses to fight over matter...