Lost ME

Since going crazy post it has been a wild ride. I have just let go. It was fun while I felt there were no consequences but all of that is rushing full force towards me, I can feel it.
No training. Doing races was painful. Bad bad eating. Always eating on the run or standing. Anxiety through the roof. Very little cooking. Tired. Uninspired. Bored. Unmotivated.
I could probably go on with the list of negatives BUT.....
My dear friend who has every single proper reason to be negative and unmotivated as I am, is NOT! She picks herself up every single day and goes for a run. She tracks every single meal. She is a whizz in the kitchen. Reading her blog makes me feel real bad about my thought process, but that isn't a bad thing. If left to my own devices I destroy myself.
So all of the nonsense aside, I WILL use her amazing example as motivation to pick myself up little by little and get back into training. It won't be a big move, it will be little steps in the right direction just to make sure that 'MOVE MORE' is priority for every single day! To make myself a priority again! To do what I know is best for ME! I have lost sight of what is important. Crumbling under this dark cloud above me at the moment.
I have risen before and I will rise again!

Ironman 2016

Hubby did Ironman 2015. That evening after finishing 15 hours and 27 minutes of continuous motion he said not again. But after few months of intense binging and doing nothing he decided to train again for the next one. Life just got in the way. Motivation was not as easy as it was with round one. Family responsibilities. By February we could see it wasn't going to happen.
So this past weekend we supported our friends taking part. We were there amidst the wonderful hype. Cheering on. It was different. Observing the heightened nerves of athletes as they buzzed around getting organised. Wondering if we had the same of looks on our faces the year before. We had serious FOMO (fear of missing out). I did get in some serious step counts that day though. Getting around was not just a straight path. It was up over around as most of the place was obviously cordoned off for the athletes. Weather was beautiful. Conditions were good. The heat got a bit high and at that point I was glad I wasn't running or cycling anywhere.
So here we are hoping to make 2017 our year. I'm very keen to train for the Half Ironman in Durban next year. I am seriously hoping a friend who suggested we train together for it will still be keen after her bad fall off her bike over the weekend. I have been feeling a lot more energised since the meds kicked in, so I am hopeful that this may actually be a turn around point for me to get back into the game in a serious way and make waves in the next year! All leading up to my 40th where I want to have accomplished some serious fitness accolades and be well on my way training for a marathon in my 42nd year!

Ble (gh!) ssed

The cravings and demotivation hit hard the last two days and I waivered from my strict albeit satisfying enough diet. It's been a really tough week with hubby's father taken to hospital and hubby hardly being home. When he is home 24/7 I wish for some peace and quiet and darkness so I can sleep better and the minute I know he will be gone all night I cannot sleep. Ugh! Typical. 

Yesterday I had normal Health Bread instead of Rye and had two blocks of dark Lindt Blueberry, oh and oooops a protein powder milkshake with real ice cream. I am sure they are the culprits for my intense headache and all over body ache this morning. It will take intense convincing to go weight training at gym just now. It's not my favourite workout either so i usually have to phsyc myself up anyways. 

BUT as the image below says so wisely....I am blessed!