Giving up....

....before even really starting

Sad. Angry. Frustrated.  Demotivated. Hurt. Bored. Unhappy. ....my mind goes blank but the list goes on.

I have everything in the world to be the happiest most blessed fit inspired woman....yet I have just crawled back into bed, scoffed down a chocolate and given up before 9am.

Washing sliding doors on Monday seeing my reflection feeling the pain in my tired arms but nothing hurts more than seeing my body go back to square one. Flubby. Big. Ugly.
After I started the new meds it felt like my body and mind was like YES! This is it. The weight on my shoulders and around my hips just fell off. I felt great in my body and my clothes. Food was not an issue.
Easy come easy go. I guess.
Now I feel helpless falling faster and faster into the familiar dark hole. And every goal I set and fail brings me down even more. I look back more than I look forward. I once had it. But I let myself down.