Doing this

It's been two weeks,I think, of making a commitment to myself with a friend for support. Excercise has been good. Two races in one weekend. 
Smoothies are still my first love. Cannot skip a day without it.
Havnt craved naughty stuff. Just when I get emotional there's a void that I feel carbs will fill. There has been in my face temptation but I survived.
Not sure if there is any change yet. Trying not to weigh.
Made the most amazing experimental dinner tonight for ladies night.
Balsamic cranberry brown rice.
Cauli mushroom cheese sauce.
Sweet potato mash.
Kudu fillet.
My friend brought Toffee frozen yogurt and kiwi pear green ice tea.
Perfect meal. Enjoyed the whole evening and no food regrets.

Smoothie Love

Did it. Finally bought a smoothie maker. Thanks to my friend for introducing it to me. I'm sooooo addicted. It's so easy. Filling. I choose a smoothie over any meal or treat.
I feel less bloated. I feel lighter.
Just great.

Fat Days

Fat days are becoming way too frequent. It's been a while since I had a tantrum in my closet. Winter is supposed to be a good time to layer on and cover up but when the only long pants I own turn into a zumba class to get on my heart sinks.
Even more heart wrenching is shopping in the fuller figure section for a size 38. Seriously? 
Feel so sick to my stomach that I haven't even felt like eating. Have had constant heartburn.
Hating myself right now....

Team M in the kitchen

Soooo....after a much needed Sunday afternoon nap I convinced hubby to help prep for forthcoming busy week.
Made some of my favourite tuna cakes and he fried up a dozen patties.
Prepared brown rice, cauliflower, coconut milk mushrooms and fried onions.
Had a great gym workout this morning then all diverted when we headed off to the Grahamstown festival. 
Had yummy beef kebabs and chips. Hot chocolate. Chop suey ric and shanghai steak. AND THEN I found the ultimate fudge guy. I almost kissed him. You just don't understand how divinely dreamy this fudge is. Anyways....one bar down. Hopefully the rest I can savour for longer than a week.
At least I haven't been craving chocolate or cake. Trying my best to make better decisions.

If only...

I had damnwell squatted and lunged a little everyday!
Been doing a mini workout in my garden with my doggies. It's been so nice as they think I'm playing with them. A bit of sprinting, squats, lunges, stepups, stretching and some yoga moves. So nothing fancy. Just hop around getting the heart rate up.
BUT the after effects are mighty. Sitting and getting up are a mission.
Makes me sooo mad that it is so simple yet I did not even put 5 minutes aside now and then to do something daily.
It seems to always for do or die. All or nothing.  Grrr.
Eating is ok'ish. Had to dispose of a mouth wateringly yummy slab of fudge last night. In my belly. Drool. Just remembering the taste makes my mouth water.
Today was good. Felt hungry. Only no no was a few Super C's after dinner. It's still early though and I feel desperate for something nice.
Such a long road ahead.  Sigh.

Sugar'holic

Hi. My name is Bernadette. I'm a sugar'holic. I need help.

Dreaded scale

So....I weighed this morning.  Eeeeekarooo shitballs. I knew I had packed on the pounds BUT the scale makes it so final.
Back to square one. Wow. What a disappointment.  ALL in my hands though. These bloody hands that keep stuffing my face.
Out comes the dreaded tuna diet. Consult with hubby that this is gonna happen.
Took the before pics. Now to dust off the will power.
Oi vey....

Challenge Accepted

So last night out with friends the usual conversations always lead to how fat we feel. I showed my progress pics from early last year and it inspired them to also track progress through photos. I could only shake my head in disgust that I let all the hard work go down the drain.
I'm right back where I was. It's now a workout just to get pants on.
Sadly I doubt I will ever be on the right path continuously. 
But ... let's see if this new challenge brings new direction

Failing body

My body bones joints muscles are eina.
I feel so frustrated that I just cannot seem to get ahead of this debilitating tiredness. Thought I had a relatively good night but by 11am I was desperate for a nap. Could only get one at 3pm and for two hours I was knocked out.
....sigh....
Long road ahead still...

Shoulda Coulda

If only my fat ass did a little bit of squatting and walking daily I wouldn't feel like the whale I am today. Now having to start over once again.
I want it but not bad enough to change the lazy stuck in a rut routine which has become my life.
It has been a turbulent few months and currently am ridding myself of things no longer serving my sanity well. It's so difficult though.
Let's see what I can accomplish in the next 30 days. Need to better my relay time.

Reboot

So...after flipflopping around with diet not being successful or satisfied I am finally going to give the famous reboot a try.
The results are amazing if you stick to it. A close friend has had huge success and shared the info ages ago but I resisted. I have seen and have envied the results on Sleekgirls.
Today I printed out the shopping list. Went shopping. Rather easy when you have a great list. Two stops. Dischem and Woolies. Under R1000.
Prepped some food already and looking forward to week ahead of no guessing whats for dinner.
Dinner was lovely. Moroccan chicken. It's not much different from how we eat already but with more flavour and direction.
I will make this work. With stuffed up back and all. I sooo want to do my photoshoots soon.

First 5km of 2014

All suited up hubby and I walked over the freeway to the start of the race in our suburb. I was struggling to keep up but in the end was super impressed with a 29min finish. Boojah!

Technology

I suppose for those who have gotten it right it's easy. But I just cannot seem to find an app that is easy to use. Was all geared up to enter every minute of sweat inducing activities.  I tried it. Tried more than one app. But it became a workout on its own. Would have been amazing to see every calorie burned the hours etc. Just not worth it.
I just want to train whenever and as hard as I can and know by the amount of sweat dripping everywhere that I did good.
This doesn't mean I don't use technology at all. Today I used a very cute little mp3 player and it was super. Except for the ear pieces. But I will get around that one. The phone was way to restrictive. This little device clips onto my shirt and is feather light. Bonus. Music in my ears for full workout. And thanks to free downloads I got some pumping tunes. Nothing like music to get you going.

2014 You Beauty

So this summer holiday has been rather good. Slept a lot at beginning and felt rather broken but thank goodness it helped. Started seeing a Chiro which helped loosen up my back and I was able to tackle yard work. So proud of what I accomplished there. Food is still my biggest enemy and I wolfed down tons of yummy naughty foods. So I have expanded. But I still feel strong. Empowered actually as I know exactly what is necessary.
Today hubby and I signed up to Virgin. Not ideal. But there were many factors to change things up. It was a long frustrating process which put me off. But we done it and I will do this.
Also have already lined up some fun runs. Want more medals darnit! LOL.
My neck is being stubborn so xrays next week. Typical.
Come on. Let's do this. More ME time. Less GRRR. More ROAR.