Gone Crazy

So the last ten days have been insanely busy AND filled with CAKE! I was noticing the increased anxiety, fidgeting, lip biting, night sweats, bad sleeping....but just thought it was because of the busy schedule and new project. Then Sunday happened. Late to an event - huge anxiety started right there. Then all the guests were tardy at leaving the table as the new guests arrived - major anxiety there. THEN a hugemungous piece of chocolate mousse cake - which after two bites sent my heart into palpitations. I immediately put it into a take away box right then and there. Everyone still wanted to socialise after and I said straight out I have had enough of people in general I need to go crawl into bed. But that wasn't possible. I was on such a sugar high that I landed up cleaning the house before crashing with a major headache.
Monday rolled around and my first bit of news was of a dog being abandoned and my rage just exploded out onto Facebook. I wanted to let the world know how disgusted I am with everyone and my crazy really shone through brightly.
I sat back after having a fun filled day of offending the world and realised it must have been the affects of the 'sugar drug' I remember nights when I used to binge on blueberry muffins and my Facebook status would reflect the crazy thoughts. It is genuinely scary to think something we all eat on a regular basis can have such an affect. Time to slow down. Detox. Get back on the Sane Train!

Compliments

I'm not one for taking compliments very well. Usually physically withdrawing into myself and denying what the person has said. It has been something I've worked on for years and it's not easy to believe they speak the truth when one does not believe it about themselves.
Lately I have been receiving many compliments. At the beginning I put them down as I honestly did not believe it coz how could it be I had not worked hard enough to warrant such praise.
But yesterday a compliment from a complete stranger, well it's the lady at the vet reception who we've seen now and then over a few years, gave me a compliment about having lost so much weight. I said thank you without putting it down but I so wish I could have made her feel better about herself as she immediately put herself down. I have always thought she is beautiful yet I've never said it. And saying it immediately following her compliment would have just looked like a meaningless payback.
We really don't compliment each other enough. We are so afraid of giving and receiving compliments one could swear it's a sin. Why is that? I can only imagine it would make this horrible world a better place.
I have on rare occasion gone up to a complete stranger and paid them a compliment but then profusely apologise and literally scurry away. I could see it made their day and I would get all warm and fuzzy feelings inside. So one wonders why if the reward is so great we don't want to do it more. We sure as hell commit easily to bad habits that feel good.
Anyways, it was yet another lesson and reminder to up my game of giving and receiving compliments.

Whooosh!

Uhm where did May go? I managed ONE measly post in May and now we're already in June and I'm like hold on. I'm still trudging along. Thankfully more good days than bad. Still trying to fit it all in, which means I'm probably doing way too much too soon and that I'm always waiting for that huge crash around the corner that is going to flatten me good.
Is it really attainable? Can I really train effectively doing five different disciplines? Road running, trail running, road cycling, swimming, horse riding....sometimes trail cycling too, you know, for fun. HAHA!  There are only SEVEN days a week plus LIFE. I still have to fit in gym time too, yoga is suppose to be on top of my list but barely make those classes.
Suddenly food is a bit of an issue again. For a while it wasn't and it was lovely. I was making good choices without even thinking about and my body showed the results pleasingly. Now my tummy is expanding a bit again from bloat from the obvious bad choices. I still can't consume the quantity like I used to, thankfully, but quite often I feel discomfort after a meal. Need to start making good choices again, soon. So many events coming up though.
Finally finished the blooming Diving course this week. Yay! Saw so many beautiful creatures. It is genuinely beautiful down there. So I am quite looking forward to seeing how it is to dive just for the fun of it with a new company. If it isn't organised better then that's it for me!
There's many birthdays coming up in the next two weeks. I'm planning quite a surprise which I am excited about but also have anxiety over. So many people we've got to socialise with this month.
One day at a time. One minute at a time. One foot in front of the other. It's the only way.