Lost ME

Since going crazy post it has been a wild ride. I have just let go. It was fun while I felt there were no consequences but all of that is rushing full force towards me, I can feel it.
No training. Doing races was painful. Bad bad eating. Always eating on the run or standing. Anxiety through the roof. Very little cooking. Tired. Uninspired. Bored. Unmotivated.
I could probably go on with the list of negatives BUT.....
My dear friend who has every single proper reason to be negative and unmotivated as I am, is NOT! She picks herself up every single day and goes for a run. She tracks every single meal. She is a whizz in the kitchen. Reading her blog makes me feel real bad about my thought process, but that isn't a bad thing. If left to my own devices I destroy myself.
So all of the nonsense aside, I WILL use her amazing example as motivation to pick myself up little by little and get back into training. It won't be a big move, it will be little steps in the right direction just to make sure that 'MOVE MORE' is priority for every single day! To make myself a priority again! To do what I know is best for ME! I have lost sight of what is important. Crumbling under this dark cloud above me at the moment.
I have risen before and I will rise again!

Whooosh!

Uhm where did May go? I managed ONE measly post in May and now we're already in June and I'm like hold on. I'm still trudging along. Thankfully more good days than bad. Still trying to fit it all in, which means I'm probably doing way too much too soon and that I'm always waiting for that huge crash around the corner that is going to flatten me good.
Is it really attainable? Can I really train effectively doing five different disciplines? Road running, trail running, road cycling, swimming, horse riding....sometimes trail cycling too, you know, for fun. HAHA!  There are only SEVEN days a week plus LIFE. I still have to fit in gym time too, yoga is suppose to be on top of my list but barely make those classes.
Suddenly food is a bit of an issue again. For a while it wasn't and it was lovely. I was making good choices without even thinking about and my body showed the results pleasingly. Now my tummy is expanding a bit again from bloat from the obvious bad choices. I still can't consume the quantity like I used to, thankfully, but quite often I feel discomfort after a meal. Need to start making good choices again, soon. So many events coming up though.
Finally finished the blooming Diving course this week. Yay! Saw so many beautiful creatures. It is genuinely beautiful down there. So I am quite looking forward to seeing how it is to dive just for the fun of it with a new company. If it isn't organised better then that's it for me!
There's many birthdays coming up in the next two weeks. I'm planning quite a surprise which I am excited about but also have anxiety over. So many people we've got to socialise with this month.
One day at a time. One minute at a time. One foot in front of the other. It's the only way.