Celebrate the small victories

When I get my craft stuff out I mean business.  LOL!
I've just finished reading Khloe Kardashian book - Strong looks better naked. And OMW so worth every cent. I don't read. Often. Or well. But it took me less than three days to gobble up this book. I can't wait to go back and scribble and highlight the good bits so that when I am down I can get quick access to it. So many things made sense and later on when I go back into it I will share what I found monumental.

No crashy crashy

So yesterday I was gearing up to crash big time. Monday was just as busy and intense and I crashed clock work 2pm. Why was yesterday any different?
Early morning pee patrol. Clean kitchen. Quick image design. Horse riding for an hour. Gym pool laps for half hour. Make and eat breakfast. Continue image design. Business bookkeeping reports. Snack time. Stretch legs. More bookkeeping stuff. Complete changes to image design. Sit outside. Make husband dinner. Pack dishwasher. Wash dishes. Clean kitchen. Organise dining table mess. Make nut bars. First try fail. Make nut bars, again. Wash more dishes. Make and eat my dinner. Swing arms for half hour. Evening pee patrol. You see....just a typical day, but usually I would only manage half.
I have taken REM sleep seriously though. Monday afternoon shopping trip involved looking for as many sleep masks or lookalikes aka head bands that I could find. Plus an extra pair of ear phones just for my phone next to my bed.
Suppose I should back track a little to explain why all this was necessary. My dear husband cannot go without a second being separated from his phone or TV or both. So we have a TV in our bedroom, I know not ideal, but before I allowed it he would sleep in the lounge. Now I have to endure blue flashing light and fluctuating sound levels and constant actor dialogue. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT!
It has been irking me tremendously adding to my anxiety, bad mood and negativity AND IRRITABILITY! So I took charge, as asking for a night or two of dark silence has proven impossible.
Back to sleep masks and ear phones.....Monday night I put on a head band AND a sleep mask AND played sleep meditation music streaming through YouTube. And I think I actually slept. Well.
Tried it again last night so let's see how today goes....

Energize

This is my key word. Energize! My 'go-to' word when I catch myself thinking negatively, am in pain, want to give up. Energize! The word itself sounds jazzy upbeat positive. Suppose it's the letter 'Z' that makes the difference. Energize! Zingy. 
The definition gives it more power for my purpose. "give vitality and enthusiasm to" "supply energy, typically kinetic or electrical energy, to something"
Even the synonyms. "enliven, liven up, vitalize, invigorate, perk up, excite, electrify, stimulate, fire up, motivate, move, drive, encourage"
I want to feel all these positive feelings. I want to push away these dark dreadful negative pulses that consume me. ENERGIZE! Do I believe it yet.....
Today I knocked out a good gym session. Ran on treadmill. Abs. Stretch. Was in pain, wanted to give up. Energize! Came home to frustration, washing, dog throwing up. Energize! I'm fading fast, back hurts, weighted feeling on chest. Energize! Energize! Energize FFS!